sober-ish may

i invented this thing called "sober may" and I'm just gonna throw this out there from the get go, it's as terrible as it sounds.

basically, you go about living every day life, doing every day activities.

..sober.

i know this is a difficult concept to grasp, and i don't know what i was thinking when i came up with this idea, considering i work for a wine distributing company, and i cuddle with a solid Californian pinot noir every night.

...do you know how fun it is to go to a bar sober?

neither do i, and i don't plan on finding out, which is why sober may lasted all of 9 days.

A for effort, F for the terrible life decisions i make while under the influence.

I woke up the other morning to chicken bones scattered across my hotel room floor, a pair of shoes I've never seen before in my life, and "PIZZA" obnoxiously typed in my search bar on my phone GPS.

for the love of god, stop with the pizza, kadie.

this is a lesson i continue to learn, yet never remember: the more you deprive yourself of life's basic needs the more you're going to want to put a campfire out with your face.

it's the same idea with dieting. no matter how much spinach / gluten free whatever you eat, and no matter how tight you ducktape that icecream container shut, we all know spinach is boring as fuck, gluten free bread tastes like a cardboard asshole, and icecream is frozen nectar of the gods.

my diet starts tomorrow.

xoxo, the damsel