dating the damsel (pt.1)

i've decided i need to step up my game and let you in on a little personal buisness of mine.. the dating life.

before you get too excited, this is not going to turn into a 50 shades of grey episode, more like 50 cats running around my house.

im just kidding, i havent hit that stage of singlehood yet.

heres a quick rundown of the current situation. we got the classic S5Cs (stage five clingers, for you idiots out there) toss in some bad boys that are fun to look at, but have the mental capacity of a goldfish bred in captivity from Petland, and a handful of regulars from my serving job that usually can't see straight when they ask me out. this, my friends is a recipe for a fucking disastor.

i feel as though men are truly from mars, and women are definitely from the farthest fucking location from it. they say yes, i say no. they say dinner and a movie, i still say no.

i guess its my fault for originally saying yes to a first date, but thats what i thought you were supposed to do.  you get dumped, you eat your feelings, you cry ugly for a few weeks, and then you get pretty again and go on pretty dates with pretty boys.  

im supposed to have fun and do glamourous things like go on a trip to europe and tossel in the sheets with a sexy italian man from the dolce & gabbana commercials.

unfortunately i have bills to pay on much less glamorous things like tuition and school books the size of gods bible. fun for me is finding a decent color of nailpolish in the walmart sale bin, and being able to afford it.

with guys it seems like the more i say "please dont ask me out, i am an emotional headcase right now" they hear "please keep asking me out because eventually im going to give in out of pure exhaustion"

..they may be onto something.

i thought single life was all about having fun and meeting new people and hanging out with no pressure of anything. i was wrong. i guess i've missed that stage and b-lined straight into the "i need a wife ASAP" stage. i thought me telling them i cant cook and that i actually live off perogies and weiners would be a deal breaker but apparently everyone loves perogies.

i think as a last resort im going to start having to tell them that I've attended a nickleback concert before. sober. and liked it.

..rock on boys.

xoxo, the damsel