baby on board

yesterday I was driving behind a car with those stupid "baby on board" signs that just chill in the back window. I mean... I get it, you have a kid and you're lactating all over your shit but is the sign really necessary?

"i have kids, so I have the right of way, soooo.. don't get in an accident with me, dick."

to be honest, when i'm a mother, i will probably get one that will need to say 5 babies on board. i want to produce lots of offspring, so i have a better chance of giving birth to a doctor and a lawyer.

and a famous person.

what's worse about this story, is that there was also a "new driver" sign beside the "baby on board" sign.

baby on board AND new driver? you might as well just hand your child over to Casey Anthony for a play date. what on earth would possess someone to a) be so bad at driving you basically need a sign to warn drivers to stay out of your 20 meter radius, and b) strap in an infant to accompany you while you learn the basic concepts of driving, like signal lights. and breaks.

i have never been in an accident before. mark my words i'm going to go t-bone the sh-t out of someone's car now, just because i jinxed it, but it's true, my slate is clean as a whistle, so i am allowed lay the smack down.

in other news, my laptop has somehow lost the "R" key, and there's a little rubber knobby i have to push instead. It is now, at this time, that i've come to realise how many words have the letter R in them.

Race car.

Error.

Red.

Robin.

Red Robin.

It's slowed down my typing efficiency by at least 50%. I told mama i need a new computer since i lost a very important part of my hard drive (or something,) and she told me to go fly a kite.

how am i ever supposed to succeed in university with a faulty computer?

i will start cutting pictures out from the magazines and newspapers and posting them to mothers fridge. this way she'll know whats up when Christmas rolls around.

in the mean time, i'll just have to take up computer space from all the university kids.

"Hi! is this computer taken?

...too bad, I actually don't care."


xoxo, the damsel