Paris: the city of love, er something.

Ive been in Paris for one day and I've already made a friend. I forget his name, but he sells Eiffel Tower key chains, and gave me one for free. YES FOR FREE SHIT, that's my favorite price.

I have this rule when I travel, that if anyone asks:
1) I have a boyfriend and also I'm engaged and married all at the same time.
2) I don't know my hotel name, but you've probably never heard of it.
3) I'm travelling with a big group of strong people that own snakes and kill people.

These rules are simply put in place so I don't get kidnapped and turned into someone's bride-slave halfway across the world. 

When my new friend asked me all of the above questions, I forgot the game plan and had verbal diarrhea of all truths and no lies. If anyone has seen the movie "taken," you'll know I'M DOING IT WRONG. Sorry Daddy :(

The biggest tip I can give you, besides don't get kidnapped, is set a budget for your trip. Come up with a figure that you can actually afford, and then split that in half. One half of that will go to doing cool shit like sleeping on the cement floor of airports, and the other half will go to the usage of public washrooms around Europe. Peeing isn't a human right here - It's for rich people. 

I got honked at today while walking around. I smiled to myself, feeling like a real Parisian mademoiselle. It's a little bit different here, than at home though. At home, a honk usually means something along the lines of DAT ASS DOE! But here, it means GET OFF THE FUCKING SIDEWALK I WANT TO DRIVE THERE AND IM A FUCKING MOPED! SHIT YA! WOO IM FRENCH!

Oopsies.

If you really want to look and feel like a local, the best way to do this is to cross the street when the light tells you not to walk. It's a little tough to get used to, because since we were children we listen to this thing called "red means don't fucking go" but trust me, If all the Parisians jump off a bridge, would you do it? Yes you would, because they're good looking and they smell nice, so you're going to cross the bloody street when they do, you idiot tourist.

xoxo, the damsel