summer camp with kadie

coaching summer kid camps for a whole week is the best form of birth control available.

don't get me wrong. i love kids. i love them from like.. when they can use the toilet by themselves, until about the age when they aren't scared of adults anymore, and "I'm telling your mom" is no longer a threat. so like 3 to 5 year olds. then they just become terrorists.
i coached a group of grade sevens for the week long volleyball camp. grade seven. thats like the age when they just discovered how to shave leg hair, and they come with a semi-truck load of attitude. and facial acne.

i tell them that the first rule in volleyball is tie your hair in a ponytail, and never leave it down because it will get tangled in the net and they will strangle and die.

secondly, im the boss. thats pretty self explanitory. i explained that their minds and bodies and lunches belonged to me for an entire week and that they will obey my every word, or running laps will become a very close friend of theirs.

thirdly, if you get scared when i hit a ball at you, you should consider a different sport, like golf. or lawn bowling.

my dictatorship came to a crashing hault when i realized that these girls couldn't consistantly pass the ball back and forth more than two times, and that "smashing the ball" was part of their vocabulary.

for the love of god.

i go up to one girl,

"hey! you excited for camp this week?"
"uh..no.. this is just a warm up for basketball camp next week"


alright, good talk.

next year they should just name the camp "babysitters for your uncontrollably bitchy pre-teen"

I have immense respect for the parents of these rogues. if it were me, they'd be shipped off to a foreign country to learn work ethic and obedience. like dog training school for your yappy chihuahua, except the chihuahua is your child.

xoxo, the damsel